Forgive Me Father, For I Did Not Spin – Harsha Vishak

These were the words written in comic sans in the speech bubble on top of a Spinner
kneeling before an altar. The poster was one among many on the walls of Nee-Bels’
Cubicle. The Spinner spun fervently with one eye on the small desk-top clock. “Need
to finish three thousand revs by five” she thought to herself. She quickened her
breathing and started to spin faster. With a well-practiced burst of pace she held a
sprint for the next ten minutes.

“I think that’s worth a break”. She thought as she got off and wiped her sweat with a
towel next to the wheel.”

She then scurried out of her cubicle to the break room. She saw Dae – C sitting at the
table slowly sipping her Gatorotate. She got her own from the shelf and sat down
next to her. Before opening the sealed cap she tried to catch her breath, still
recovering from the sprint. Neither said anything for a bit.

Dae – C now a bit annoyed by the silence said abruptly – “Spinning hard or hardly
spinning?”, not because she thought it was clever (it wasn’t the first three hundred
times either) but just to get her friend and colleagues attention.

Nee snapped out of her thought and said – “Oh hey Dae, my bad. I was just planning
my evening. Another seven hundred revs by six at full pace, then a hundred or two
by seven for a cool down.”

“You think too much about that, you know.”
“Oh hush.”
“What ? It’s true.”
“How else do I find the most effective way to hit the targets?”
“Just run at the wheel, Nee it’s really quite simple.”
“Huh.”

She paused for a minute in thought. Maybe that was it. Dae – C was one of the best
spinners in the department. Consistently getting higher numbers than her and she
was no slouch herself.
She could never do it like that though, she always needed to push herself, pace
herself, plan things meticulously before doing them. It was the only way she knew
how to get the results.
“Forget about that please, I meant for you to think less not more. There’s new Gato
flavors by the way.”
“Ugh the blue one.”
“Yeah it’s not too bad if you get used to it.”
“I just hope the hands don’t stop stocking Orange. I still miss yellow. Strange ones
they are, the Hands.”
“Hey, they give us a livelihood, food and housing. They can change the Gato flavors
however often they want for all I care.”

The Hands. Strange ones they were indeed. Large Hands that made the Offices, the
housing complex next to it and kept both of them stocked and furnished. They were
always very cryptic when they spoke with their booming voices ringing from the roof.
No one really knew why they had to spin the wheels. The most common theory was
that it was for energy purposes. But why did they need so much energy? Who used
it? Why were the Spinners chosen for it? Why were they never allowed out?
What would happen if they didn’t spin?

“Aight Imma head back Dae, I’ll see you after work, yeah?”
“Toodles.”

She scurried back to her station. Oddly confused. Normally she’d be planning how to
pace herself for the next stint. How long to slowly build up while gaining momentum
then when to explode into a sprint.

Now the only thought in her head was – “why?”
She returned to her wheel. Gingerly stepping onto it instead of pouncing like normal.
She started building pace, trying to get into her groove. She instead found her mind
swimming in a torrent of half formed thoughts, with no branch to cling on to in sight.
Why?
The letter ‘Y’.
Yellow.
Gatorotate.
Sweat.
Work.
Why?
She shook her head to free her mind of these thoughts.
“Get back into it.”
And so she tried. Quickening her pace, feeling her pulse rise.
And so she failed. Thoughts are moving even faster now, matching the pulse.
Family.
Her kids.
Their smiles.
Their frowns.
Not seeing them enough.
Long nights at the wheel.
Deadlines that are always just out of reach.
Comparing herself with everyone else there.
Never being able to push enough.
Always striving for those last few numbers.
Never feeling complete.
“WHY?”

She wasn’t thinking to herself anymore.
She wasn’t on the wheel anymore either. She had climbed onto the wall of her
cubicle. A dozen or two beady eyes of her coworkers fixed on her. Snapping out her
daze. Trying to catch her breath.
“You all right, Nee?”
“Don’t really know. Are you?”
“I suppose.”
“How?”
“Never thought about it.”
“Give it go.”
“I’m well fed. Have a comfy home, Work is not too bad.”
“Well yeah but what’s the point of it?.”
“Keeps the hands happy doesn’t it?”
“Who cares? Have you met them? Know what they do with the spins?”
“Huh.”
“Ever thought beyond the wheel?”
“Can’t imagine it.”
“Give it a go.”
And she took a step closer to her coworkers desk and with a swift kick knocked the
wheel off its hinges.

Cheers erupted all over the floor as they all began to follow her lead.
As pandemonium ensues the roof begins to shake. It slowly lifts up, the divine light of
the hands shining through.

The hand reached in and grabbed Nee – Bels with it’s tendrils and lifted her up. Its
deep voice echoed through the room – “Aww Ms. Nibbles are you cranky? Why don’t
you play on the wheel with Daisy and I’ll get you some Gatorade to drink.”